


Blasphemy

by fallingfromdisgrace



Category: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blink and you miss it Hermes/Thanatos, Hermes-centric, Multi, cause I guess I ship it now, like way after, set after the events of lore olympus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingfromdisgrace/pseuds/fallingfromdisgrace
Summary: Hermes had finally worked out why his reputation is suffering and needs help to fix it.A.k.a. 5 times Hermes asked for advice and the 1 time he actually follows it
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Lore Olympus)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	Blasphemy

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for Lore Olympus, I had the idea and couldn’t get it out of my head until it was written.
> 
> Not beta’d so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~fallingfromdisgrace

For the first time in Hermes’ life, he understood the pull of wrath.

His vision was slowly bleeding red and was blurry around the edges.

He could feel it bubbling under the surface of his skin, begging to be unleashed at the idiotic mortals in the building below him.

It would be so easy to wipe them from existence for even _daring_ to-

Hermes stopped, he didn’t like feeling like this.

He flew to the roof and landed there, catching sight of himself in the glass facade on the way.

He started pacing as soon as he landed.

Hermes was known as the carefree god, the one without a care in the world. Other gods came to him with their problems and he helped calm them down, put it into perspective.

But who could he go to?

He was still burning with rage, the need to do something just sitting in his head. He couldn’t shake the burn this insult has caused him.

It had been building for a few years now, since the first prayer had hit his ears. Such disgust was held for him that he had needed to stop for a second before shaking it off and carrying on. It clearly wasn’t meant for him so he hadn’t taken too much offence.

He’d assumed that his name had gone viral for something in the mortal realm and they had all taken to cursing him because it was the new ‘cool’ thing to do. He had heard every variation of hope and disappointment over those years.

_‘It’s broken, I’m going to make Hermes pay for this’_

_‘Come on Hermes, don’t mess this up for me now’_

_‘Gods fucking dammit Hermes, you literally had one job!’_

He was so used to blocking out the ongoing tirade of people cursing his name these days that he almost didn’t hear anything at all.

And now, now he knew why.

So, because a group of stupid mortals had taken his name in vain, the whole world now felt the urge to curse at him everyday.

The very mortals who were in the very building he was standing on.

Hermes knew he needed to calm down, he just didn’t know how. He had never felt rage like this before. It was consuming him like fire, burning him up from the inside.

He almost believed that if he looked in a mirror right now he would be engulfed in flames. But he’d seen his reflection before, and there wasn’t any fire, this was all him.

And his eyes- _gods his eyes_ \- they were fully red. The same as Persephone’s when she-

Persephone.

He didn’t know how it hadn’t occurred to him before. She was the only other person in the pantheon who rivalled his carefree attitude and optimism, and she had a very public history with wrath. If anyone knew how he felt right now it would be her.

Now with a clear focus he could see through the red haze and focused on where he wanted to be, wherever Persephone was right now.

It was winter in the mortal realm so Hermes shifted his destination to the Underworld.

The world was a blur as he sped through the air towards the gates to the Underworld.

He was soon under the eternal night sky of Hades’ realm and he didn’t think twice before bursting into Hades’ living room.

If he was in any other state he would’ve at least thought about knocking, but not right now.

The royal couple were sat on the couch, well to be more accurate, Hades was sat on the couch and Persephone was sat on Hades. They both startled at his sudden appearance and a book fell from Hades’ hands as he moved to grab his wife.

“Sorry!,” Hermes practically shouted at them, his manners finally returning. “I forgot to knock!”

“Uh,” Persephone looked at Hades over her shoulder, “don’t worry about it, you seem to have a lot on your mind.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked at him with concern. “Are you okay Hermes? Do you want a drink?”

Hermes looked at her and the empathy he could feel from her seemed to settle his stomach a little. “Yes please.”

She nodded and stood up, grabbing two empty glasses from the side and walking to the kitchen.

Hermes finally noticed that Persephone and Hades were wearing corresponding pyjama sets and had seemed to be reading from the same book when he had burst in.

“Sorry for interrupting,” he said to the man who was technically his boss, at least some of the time.

Hades smirked, somehow still managing to look intimidating in light pink pyjamas that were covered with Persephone’s face, “don’t worry about it.” He picked up the fallen book and placed it on a side table. “I’d love to know what has finally ruffled your feathers after all these years.”

Just the reminder of his rage had Hermes’ vision glazing over once again, the insult still fresh to him.

“Hades!” Persephone scolded as she rushed back in the room in her light blue pyjama set (which were covered in Hades’ face), now with three large glasses of red wine. “Don’t upset him again.”

“It’s okay,” Hermes took a breath, and then took a large sip of the offered drink. “I’m just having issues with wrath right now.”

Hades raised an eyebrow, “clearly.”

The small goddess slapped Hades lightly on the shoulder as she sat back down in his lap, “what my insufferably _rude_ husband means is that we’ll help in any way we can, even if it’s just listening.”

Hermes took another deep breath to settle himself, he sat down on the edge of an armchair opposite the couch. “It’s the mortals, they’ve done something so disrespectful, so insulting, that I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Persephone bit her lip again, “is this about the delivery company?” She asked slowly.

Hermes felt his eyes bleed red again as he looked at the flower goddess, “you _knew_?”

Persephone glanced over her shoulder worriedly, “I spend half the year up there, I’ve heard of them before now. I don’t think they meant it as an insult Hermes, I think they’re just a little misguided.”

Hermes shot up from his perch, “it’s downright blasphemy is what it is! Gods, when I saw it I wanted to raze the entire building to the ground.”

Hades tilted his head curiously, “why didn’t you?”

Hermes felt himself deflate, “I don’t want to be wrathful, I didn’t like feeling that way. But I can’t get it out of my head. I thought you might be able to help.”

Persephone pursed her lips and sat back, tucking herself into Hades’ chest, “so you thought you’d come to someone who deals with wrath regularly? And I was the first person you thought of?”

Hermes shrugged, “guilty as changed”

Hades laughed, “you shouldn’t say things like that in my presence.”

Hermes stuck his tongue out at the older god, and then turned back to Persephone, “I just need to know how you let it go.”

Identical smirks appeared on the couples faces.

“You need to find an another outlet for all that tension, instead of keeping it bottled up.”

Hermes frowned, “what?”

Hades leaned forward, “you need to release all that anger.”

Hermes stared blankly at them, “yes...”

“For gods sake,” Persephone looked to the ceiling for a moment and look him in the eyes. “Hermes, you need to find someone who will help you work all that pent up frustration out, in any way that helps.”

Hades wrapped his arms around his wife, “keeping it safe, sane and consensual, of course.”

Hermes finally understood and was immediately grossed out, he imagined this was how children felt when their parents talked about sex. He pulled a face at them, “you two are disgusting.”

Persephone let out a low whistle, “speak for yourself, I almost can’t wait for Thanatos’ quarterly review meeting; I can’t sit down for _days_ afterwards.”

She smiled to herself and shivered slightly.

Hades just looked smug.

*****

Hermes requested a formal meeting with Zeus; he wasn’t stupid enough to go barging in unannounced on _that_ king. Hermes doubted there was enough brain bleach in the world for that.

“So what has you all worked up Hermes?” Zeus said, oozing his usual amount of sleaze and charm.

“The humans, they’ve created a business-“

“Oh!” Zeus clapped his hands together, “so this _is_ about the delivery company.”

“Oh my gods, does everyone know about it already?” Hermes moaned.

Zeus laughed, “well I was curious when your name was being thrown around the mortal realm again. It’s been a long time since the mortals believed in the gods of their ancestors and we hadn’t seen that much traffic for any god in a while.”

Hermes put his hands over his eyes, “but did you hear what they were saying?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“Uh,” Zeus seemed lost for a second, “how happy they were that their things were delivered?”

Hermes lowered his hands, letting Zeus see the anger in his eyes, “the opposite in fact, it’s all ‘ _Hermes lost another parcel again_ ’, or ‘ _Hermes delivered this but it didn’t get here in one piece_ ’. Zeus I can’t stand it anymore.”

Zeus frowned, “what are you asking?”

Hermes bit his lip, it seemed so childish to ask this now that he was sat in front of the King of the Gods.

“I want to destroy that company, burn it all to the ground, if you will allow it.”

Zeus’ mouth flattened to line, “you know the answer to that, wrathful acts aren’t permitted anymore.”

“I know,” Hermes took a deep breath, “I just can’t let this go though.”

Zeus shrugged, not unsympathetically, “unfortunately you are going to have to do exactly that.”

Hermes nodded and looked down.

“Maybe you could speak to Ares about managing your anger?” Zeus suggested softly.

“I-“ Hermes didn’t want to parade this problem around, it was bad enough if the rest of the gods already knew about the blasphemous company, he didn’t want them learning of his wavering control as well. “Yeah, maybe.”

*****

Hermes couldn’t get his usual levels of enthusiasm back after learning about that company. It was even worse after he was told, in clear terms, that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn’t help but feel like all the gods were laughing at him for it.

He was slouching in his chair in the library of the Underworld, feet up on the desk, trying to think of a plan. A way to get past this and move on, but every time he closed his eyes he could still see that stupid blue and black logo.

“What’s up?” Hermes opened his eyes and glanced at Thanatos who was sitting down opposite him.

“Nothing,” he muttered and closed his eyes again.

The silence fell and Hermes couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable in it.

He opened his eyes and Thanatos was openly staring at him in shock, “seriously, what’s wrong?”

Hermes huffed, “nothing.”

The frown on Thanatos’ face deepened, “uh, no, not good enough. Every morning I say ‘What’s up?’ And you say ‘my numbers compared to yours, man bun’. Every morning.”

Thanatos was suddenly beside him, “you can’t just change millennia of tradition and have nothing to say for it.”

Hermes rolled his eyes, “so this is your OCD freaking out because I can’t stay to a script?”

“It’s not OCD, and now you’ve just convinced me that the world is ending.”

Hermes looked away, “you’re overreacting.”

“Hermes...” Thanatos said softly. It was so out of character for the god of death that Hermes took his feet off the desk and sat up in his chair. “Are you okay?”

Thanatos was looking at him in earnest, like he wanted to help, and Hermes was stumped for a minute. He was convinced that Thanatos only put up with him because they worked together, they were friends in the vaguest sense of the word. But he didn’t realise that the pale god actually cared about his wellbeing.

“When you’ve been to the mortal realm, have you heard of a company called Hermes?” He asked slowly.

Thanatos perched on the desk in front of Hermes, “not really, I don’t really look around when I’m there,” he fiddled with his hair. “What do they do?”

“They’re ‘the parcel people!’” Hermes sneered.

“So a delivery company? With your name all over it?” Thanatos looked up thoughtfully, “that’s pretty genius when you think about it.”

“But you’ve missed the _best part_.” Hermes leaned in, letting a bit of his anger bleed into his tone.

Thanatos swallowed nervously, and also leaned in, “what’s that?”

“They’re fucking _terrible_ at it!” Hermes practically spat. “They lost 30,000 parcels last year due to one label scanning error.”

Thanatos’ eyes widened, “so when people are mad at the company...”

“They’re practically damning my name all the time, yes.” Hermes took a breath and looked away, “my reputation has taken a hit with the mortals, even if they don’t believe in me, and apparently all the gods know about this as well, I can’t help but feel like a laughing stock.”

Thanatos put a hand on Hermes’ shoulder, “I don’t think you’re a laughing stock, and none of the gods in Olympus will feel that way either. You’re the best of us, and the proof is that they still thought of your name after all this time.”

Hermes rolled his eyes again, “Persephone said they were misguided.”

Thanatos shrugged, “they are, they didn’t know how high the standards would have to be to even think of comparing themselves to you.”

Hermes felt one side of his mouth rise, almost against his will. “Aw, careful now, that almost sounded like a compliment.”

Thanatos coughed and stood up quickly, “absolutely not.”

He moved quickly back to his own desk but Hermes could see the blush on tips of his ears.

“If you mention this to anyone I’ll kill you myself.” Thanatos threatened, his back still to Hermes.

He rolled his eyes, “sure thing, Man Bun.”

Hermes noticed the small, pleased smile on Thanatos’ face as he sat down, “and if you ever need help with the anger, let me know.”

Hermes froze for a second, thinking back to Persephone’s advice.

He was glad that Thanatos was busy logging on for the morning and didn’t see the burgundy blush that was spreading across Hermes’ face.

“We can play some video games to take your mind off it or something,” Thanatos suggested, eyes still glued to his screen.

“Sounds good,” he squeaked in reply.

*****

Hecate looked at him in confusion, “but, why do _you_ need something like that?”

“Uh,” Hermes looked away, “I have a friend who is struggling with staying calm and I think this would be helpful to him.”

Hecate raised an eyebrow, “don’t you think, that if I had a potion that was the Olympian equivalent of a Xanax, I would’ve used it on our dear king during the summers?”

Hermes opened his mouth, thinking of Hades’ mood swings that always surfaced when his wife was away. “Uh... maybe?”

She sighed, “Hermes, if you’re having issues with anger,” he tried to interrupt but Hecate just raised an eyebrow and continued, “especially regarding a certain delivery company, I don’t have a solution for it. You’re going to have to work this out the old fashioned way.”

He scrunched his face up, “by having lots of rough and kinky sex?”

Hecate let out a loud laugh and slapped a hand over her mouth, “so I see you’ve already been to our beloved queen for advice.”

Hermes groaned and let his head fall into his hands.

“Everyone’s telling me to just let it go, or work out my anger another way, but it’s not just as easy as that.”

Hecate took a sip from her tea, “I imagine not, Persephone can be quick to anger and that is why her rage can be diverted easily, as is our king. But something that has you this annoyed must be important to you. You need to remove the cause of the rage and work through it that way.”

“I’ve already been to Zeus about this, but acts of wrath have been banned for ages.”

Hecate hummed, “that’s a shame.”

Hermes couldn’t help but agree with her.

It had been weeks since he had first seen the building in the mortal realm, weeks since he had learned what the mortals had done to his name and reputation.

He wasn’t burning with the urge to kill anymore, but he still hadn’t shaken the rage that would pop up intermittently through the days. Or shake the feeling that he was being laughed at by everyone he met.

Hecate raised an eyebrow, “is there any way you can get rid of this company without an act of wrath?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there any way of getting rid of this company without killing anyone or burning it down?”

Hermes looked up thoughtfully, he hadn’t considered that one before.

He wasn’t sure what worse; a company so bad at delivering parcels that mortals thought it was named Hermes ironically, or a company that was named Hermes that had failed at delivering parcels so badly they were bankrupt.

“I have no idea but I’ll definitely look into it,” he said, still unsure.

*****

Hermes was scoping out the building in the mortal realm. Unable to leave it alone, he’d committed to living up to the other half of his mantle and was going to prank them to make himself feel better.

Then he could at least pretend he had exacted the vengeance he craved.

At least, that was the original plan.

He was weighing up his options when he saw a flash of purple in his periphery. He sighed, the lecture he was about to hear was already running through his mind.

“Look, I know what you said, but I have to do something,” he said to the king.

“So, what’s the plan then?” A surprisingly female voice asked him.

He spun around quickly and was shocked to see Artemis stood before him, he had her in a bear hug before she had time to react.

“Artie, it’s been too long, how have you been?”

She grimaced as he released her, “I’ve been okay, just the usual duties keeping me busy.” She turned on the spot and looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“I visited with Persephone in the Underworld a few days ago, she’s worried about you.”

Hermes sighed and gestured to the building at his back, “can you blame me?”

Artemis pursed her lips, “it’s still very unlike you to be caught up with something like this. It’s such a trivial matter I’m surprised it caught your attention for even a day.”

Hermes sighed, turning back to the building, he knew none of them understood why it was bothering him so much, he could hardly explain it himself.

“It’s not trivial to me, you can’t hear them constantly cursing this company out, and every time they do it comes to me. Every day just messages of lost parcels or terrible service, I can’t hear anything but it now. It’s like a personal attack.”

Artemis bit her lip, “I didn’t realise you were getting all those messages, it must be so annoying.”

Hermes hummed in agreement but he still felt there was something else to his anger than just annoyance at being harassed all the time.

Artemis squared her shoulders and stepped forward, coming to rest by his side, “what’s the plan then?”

“I-“ he looked at her, “I don’t know, anything I do will just make the company look worse, which will make me look worse.”

Artemis nodded in understanding, “you feel like you can’t make people laugh at this company without them also laughing at you?”

He nodded quickly.

“Hermes, you know none of us think of you like this don’t you?” She asked slowly.

He nodded quickly again but wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Oh,” she breathed like she finally understood, “Hermes, this mortal company isn’t changing anyone’s opinions of you. The gods know exactly what kind of man you are, and nothing these humans can do will change that. Imitation is the highest form of flattery after all, I think they were just trying to give a sense of power with their name. They just didn’t quite live up to it.”

“Are you trying to tell me they were just misguided when they chose my name to trade on?”

Hermes sighed, already tired of hearing the same defences.

“I-“ Artemis hesitated, “I’m sorry, I’m guessing you’ve heard that a few times.”

Hermes nodded stiffly.

Artemis hesitantly rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

Hermes wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “it’s not your fault.”

They both looked at the building, “it was so much easier when you could appear to them in your God form and intimidate them into anything.” Artemis sniffed. “Cause a stampede or give them a season without deer and they’d do anything for you.”

Hermes couldn’t help but laugh, “speak for yourself, I never had to intimidate anyone into anything before, and I can hardly mess with their deliveries. They do a good enough job of that on their own.”

Artemis laughed quietly, “You can say that again.”

Hermes looked at her out of the corner of his eye, “what did they mess up?”

Artemis tried to look innocent, “what?”

“What did you order that they messed up?”

Artemis bit her lip, “I tried to order a new bow when my old one broke, I don’t like bothering Hephaestus if it’s just the bow,” she shrugged. “But it’s been _months_ and it still hasn’t arrived.”

Hermes sent a dirty look to the building once again, “for _fucks_ sake.”.

*****

“Can I at least sue them?” Hermes moaned, lied on the couch in Hades’ office.

He was waiting for the queen who had apparently gone for some lunch, but Hades had invited him into his office after his secretary had sent several nervous emails about the very angry god loitering in the waiting area.

“Is your name trademarked under mortal law?” Hades asked, slowly pouring some whiskey into a tumbler.

“Well, no.”

“I’m not sure there is anything you can do then,” Hades looked at him over the top of the glass as he took a drink.

“It just doesn’t sit right with me at all,” he put his hands over his eyes, not wanting Hades’ to see if he suddenly lost his cool again.

“Have you considered why it doesn’t ‘sit right with you’?” Hades asked pointedly.

Hermes rolled onto his side and looked at the blue god, “what do you mean?”

“People name things after us all the time, Poseidon has several fish markets to his name, Nike has that sportswear brand, it’s an old fashioned show of respect.”

Hermes rolled his eyes, sensing where this was going, “so because they had good intentions I should just drop it?”

“Of course not,” Hades waved his hand through the air, matching Hermes’ level of disdain, “I think you just need to focus on why it bothers you so much, and try to resolve that.”

Hades let that thought sit in the air for a second, watching Hermes as he took another drink and grabbed a cigar out of thin air.

Hermes felt that Hades was trying to teach him a lesson, trying to point him to the correct answer gently, but Hermes had run out of patience a while ago.

“So, why is it annoying me so much?”

Hades raised an eyebrow and just took a long pull of the cigar.

“I thought you were meant to be quitting?” Hermes asked pointedly, not meeting the King’s eyes.

He let out a quick laugh and then schooled his expression, “Hermes, they’ve took a lot of things from you. It’s not just your name, and you know it. They took the one thing you do better than anyone else, the thing you are known for, and made a company out of it. They’ve slapped your name across it, and made ‘Hermes’ synonymous with deliveries again, all of that is forgivable.”

Hades took a long drag and looked him over, “you just can’t stand that they are messing it all up.”

Hermes sat up, “what?”

Hades moved around his desk, resting on the front of it, “think about it, if this was a good company that lived up to the promise, would you be as angry as you are?”

Hermes thought about it for a second, imagined what it would be like to not have people curse his name constantly, maybe even to hear people thanking Hermes for the delivery.

“You’re angry,” Hades continued, “because all those errant thoughts from mortals are directed at you and are about one of the things you are known well for, so it’s easy to confuse them with thoughts meant for you.”

“So,” Hades stubbed the cigar out on his desk and clapped his hands together, “what do you need to do to fix that?”

Hermes could slowly see a plan forming in his head, “I need to make the company the best delivery service?” He asked, still a little unsure.

Hades raised an eyebrow, “say it again, this time with a little more conviction maybe.”

“I need to make that mortal company live up to my name,” he repeated, “but how? I can’t just waltz in and say ‘hiya, I’m the ancient god you’re named after, here’s a few tips’.”

Hades crossed his arms and rested his index finger against his lips, “technically you can do exactly that.”

“...I’m listening.”

“There aren’t any outright laws against telling mortals who you really are, it was never written into the rules because Zeus used to use it as a way of seducing the humans.” He rolled his eyes just thinking about it, “so dress in your mortal garb, go into a meeting with the people who run the company and tell them in no uncertain terms that you will be working to improve their service.”

Hades smiled, “you can ever flash those lovely red eyes to give them incentive to believe you.”

Hermes let the red bleed into his eyes and rolled them to prove a point, “do you think I could do it?”

“Of course I do, you’ve had practically nothing to do these past years since the mortal realm has caught up and the gods can finally use their mobile phones there, even if they are on old handsets. Not to mention the delivery service in Olympus is basically self sufficient these days.”

Hermes smirked, “I’m not sure, there is this one couple who seems to believe in the beauty of the written letter, it keeps me busy through the summer months.”

Hades’ mouth settled into a line, “Persephone likes my handwriting,” he said flatly.

Hermes picked at a piece of lint on his trousers, “if I did do this, would you join me?”

“Of course I would, it’s been a while since I had an excuse to go up there and smell the roses, so to speak.”

“And who’s roses would you be smelling exactly?” Persephone asked, breezing through the office with a paper bag.

Hades smiled at her, “no ones but yours, sweetness.”

She smirked, “damn straight.”

She started getting the sandwiches out of the bag, and Hermes took that as an excuse to leave, “I’ll leave you guys to it then, Hades are you free tomorrow for that meeting?”

Hades grinned, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

*****

The meeting went off without a hitch.

Hades and Hermes were dressed in their suits to match the men in front of them, they even wore an illusion to hide their true skin.

Hades had suggested presenting them with a Non-Disclosure Agreement to ensure that they wouldn’t try to tell anyone (not that they would be believed even if they did). The humans had sneered at this initially, before reluctantly signing when Hades stared them down.

He’d been very pleased to learn that he could wear a suit for this meeting and Hermes had a sneaking suspicion that he was enjoying being the muscle for once.

Hermes introduced himself to a chorus of laughter. One of the humans even dared to speak up, “Hermes eh? God of the mail man?”

Hermes raised an eyebrow, “amongst other things, yes.”

“Then who’s this?” One of the older men pointed at Hades, “is that Zeus?”

They all laughed and the gods waited until it had died down to a low chuckle.

“I have many names, but you may call me Hades, King of the Underworld.”

One snorted, “aren’t you supposed to be grey with fire for hair?”

The laughter started again and Hades looked at Hermes angrily, “‘ _fire for hair_ ’?” He hissed. “Where in Tartarus did that come from?”

“Not really the focus right now,” Hermes whispered pointedly. He could practically see the mental note being made to asked Persephone about it later.

Hermes looked back towards the table, “I’m glad we can start this meeting off on such good terms,” he said, finally finding the enthusiasm he hadn’t felt in week, “yes, I am Hermes, God of trade, wealth, luck and travel. I’m the messenger of Olympus and your very namesake.”

He took a breath and let the red bleed into his eyes and the illusion faded around them, revealing the red skin underneath, “what you have done here is frankly _insulting_ ,” he hissed, finally getting the reaction he wanted from these men. They all sat back in their chairs, trying to put as much distance between them and the god as possible. The blood drained from their faces and Hermes was pleased to see a few were looking slightly green.

“I should burn this building to the ground with you inside it for daring to drag my name through the mud,” he threatened, the humans didn’t need to know that an act of wrath was off the table. They all shot nervous glances around the room, one of the men on the left was holding onto his chair so hard his knuckles were white.

He let the illusion fall back into place.

“But I can be reasonable, I don’t dislike the idea of this company, it’s just the service isn’t to the level of what I would hope for a company bearing my name. I don’t want to hear any empty promises of change,” Hermes said, as he could see some of the men were opening their mouths to interrupt, “my associate and I will be doing a full evaluation of your business and will be making changes where we see necessary.”

The men were nodding now, and their thankful mumbling ceased when Hades put another piece of paper on the table.

“This is the agreement we propose, unfortunately you can’t have any lawyers look this over,” Hades smirked, “as it was covered in the NDAs you have all signed. However the baseline of this agreement is that we will have full power over the company, you will essentially become the faces of the company while we do the running of it. You will each suffer a pay cut, but will still earn more than you deserve in any case.”

One of the younger men finally spoke up, “how much will you be taking from us?”

Hermes frowned at Hades who look equally as baffled, “uh, nothing.”

The all scoffed at that, and Hermes continued, “we have no need of your currency, we have plenty where we are from. Did you miss the bit about me being the God of wealth?”

The men seemed to think over the implications of that as they started signing the new contract.

Hermes could feel his usual energy levels returning as the men signed one by one.

“Why are you doing this then?” One of them asked.

Hermes tilted his head to one side, “in the old days people would call for blessings, they would pray to us, for lack of a better word. Nowadays we don’t hear much from this realm, which we are fine with. But every time a mortal curses this very company they are cursing my name, and I won’t stand for it any longer.”

The men nodded in understanding and continued to sign the documents before them.

When the last pen was put down Hades collected the contracts in, “you will receive copies of these in the next three days,” he gestured to the documents on the table.

“And don’t worry gentlemen,” Hermes said sarcastically, “I’ll deliver them personally, I hear the delivery service around here isn’t quite up to scratch yet.”

The men couldn’t meet Hermes’ eyes as they murmured agreement.

“Well,” Hades clapped his hands together, “we will send some workers along in a few days to help with the handover and start assessments of the company, have a nice life gentlemen.”

Hades let his illusion fall first, his olive skin slowly bleeding blue, he had kept his suit on but added his usual floating crown. He grinned as the men gasped.

He nodded at Hermes before fizzing from the room, leaving a small cloud of black smoke in his wake.

Hermes rolled his eyes at the dramatics and let his own illusion fall, keeping his suit but freeing his hair from the ponytail.

“Gentlemen,” he looked around the room of terrified men and smiled as he leaned forward. He was practically back to his old carefree self again. “it’s been a pleasure. I look forward to working with you.”

He let his wings unfold and flew from the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
